Old stories :-/

It's been almost a month since i went back to STF for the school's 50th birthday aka Golden Jubilee Celebration. My earlier plan to go back to STF with C & kids was cancelled due to my dad's passing as me & C were thinking that we can't go out of KL for the weekend and C needs to stay in KL in case of any emergency. Ziela, baby Afiq & Aiman were still around at that time. But after I got C's permission to go to JB for that GJC event [after so much persuassion from Mak], i made an impromptu plan to go to JB on Sat morning, came back to KL in the afternoon. I did tell CK abt my short trip and foresee that we can't meet up. [At the beginning of the year we did plan to meet up during that GJC weekend as the event is actually open to public.] To cut the story short, I reached STF just in time for the proclamation event. Managed to have lunch in the dining hall, went round exhibition places + classes, bought a few things at the mini carnival and met up with old frens + teachers. Took only a few pix and still waiting for C to download them. Remembering the smiles on their faces, i must say that it's worth the short trip :)

After the GJC event, i got the chance to meet up again with Safiah, my batchmate who flew back to Msia for the school event all the way from the US. She lives in Kansas City, MO with her hubby for the past 12 years i think. But, one thing still pending after met up with Safiah a few times is meeting up with her hubby. The time i saw her at Crown Princess, her hubby was down with fever so he didn't come down for lunch with us :( Whatever it is, we still had a good time bersembang sakan with each other. Talking abt old times and some of our plans for future. I hope and pray that Safiah's plan to open up an "all-women gym" here in KL will materialise. Before she leaves, as always, Safiah never forgets to extend her invitation for us to visit her in KC. InsyaAllah we'll save up a lot of money and will be able to visit her one fine day, eventho i'm not sure when that "one fine day" will be :)

The following week after i met up with Safiah, i had the chance to meet up with another STF batchmate, who we fondly call her Jema. Eina passed Jema's phone # to the rest of us after i voiced out in my batch's e-group that i never know Jema's whereabouts eversince we left school. Me & Jema spoke over the phone a few times before we met on Monday, 17th July. I was adamant abt meeting her that Monday bcoz my earlier plan to gather with her and Buck on Sat, 15th July, didn't materialise. They waited a few hours for me to show up at Buck's house but me & C didn't manage to as we're stuck in a fren's house in Shah Alam. Feeling really bad abt the whole incident, i met Jema with her sis, Aida, for lunch in Chicken Rice Shop, KL Sentral. It was more of me "menempel" their lunch coz they oredi placed order before i came. After lunch, me and Jema took the ERL to KLIA. So, dapat la bersembang sini sikit, sana sikit abt things that happened since we left school 20 years ago during that 30 minutes journey to KLIA, hehehe. We promise to keep in touch and hopefully we'll meet again sooner if not later :)

Other than that, me and Nurul bumped into each other last Monday, 24th July, on the day a few of Putra LRT trains had some problems till some hundreds of passengers got trapped in the trains. I was on the way back to ofis from Masjid Jamek station, while Nurul was on her way to Masjid Jamek station with the intention to go to KLCC to buy some diapers for Syirah. Told her that the Putra trains were not moving, so we walked to Menara Olympia and chat for abt half an hour. As i've been busy with system testing, Nurul hasn't been well but recovering. Lucky we bumped into one another.. kalau tidak, payahnya nak jumpa eventho our offices are just across from one another. Nurul dear, hope we can schedule a long overdue birthday lunch for both of us soon :D

Have a great week ahead to all :)

Kiddos..

Faie's birthday was celebrated last weekend, on Sat with Mak and with MIL + uncle & auntie on Sun. She had choc cake with choc topping + some pink hearts on Sat and choc cake, layered with peach, with white topping on Sun, which were delicious. Both occasions were OK, considering Faie's not at her level best. She was happy when she received presents from us :) She was still happy when she opened them up :) But she cried a few times when she ate her cake or any solid food. But whatever happened, Happiest 5th Birthday again to my darling Faie :D Mama & Papa never forget to pray for you all the time :)

As you all read in CK's blog, Faie and Mohsin were infected by the HFMD. It all started with Mohsin getting high fever for a few nites. I thot that was just a normal fever as he'll be OK during the day. When he's done with his fever, he suffered mouth ulcers, which make him doesn't wanna take his milk or eat anything as it hurts whenever he puts anything into the mouth. We fed him icecream as my colleague once told me that icecream will help to heal ulcers faster. Kesian betul tengok dia merengek everyday, make me feel like crying :( Later he complained to me that he has some allergies on his knees & feet. I applied some cream and it subsided a lil bit. I was just praying that he'll get well soon.

When i was having breakfast with colleague Thu morning, i told them abt Mohsin's condition. One of them told me that i should take him to clinic a.s.a.p. as his condition could be serious. He may have gotten that HFMD :( I never thot his situation can be that bad. Fear that Mohsin has actually gotten it, we took all the kids to clinic Thu night at around 10pm. To my horror, the doctor said "yes, they're infected by HFMD. You need to take them to the hospital for further check up." :( When i told the doctor that we'll go over SJMC in the morning, he asked us to take the kiddos straight away. Aduissshh.. dah la penat baru balik kerja dan belum sempat masuk rumah.. ni nak kena pegi SJMC lak. But, for the kids' sake, we just have to put aside whatever it is and take them straight to the Emergency of SJMC.

Sampai kat SJMC, ramainya orang yang sakit dok menunggu their turn to be seen by the doctor. After registering them all, we waited there for abt an hour or more. Finally their turn came and the doctor confirmed that Faie and Mohsin were infected. Fear that Simba will spread the virus, he's given an MC for Fri. We left SJMC abt 1am feeling very sleepy and tired :(

For those who don't know anything abt HFMD, the child will start with severe mouth ulcer. At times he/she will also get fever. Later red spots can be seen on his/her hand and feet. While most of the spots are under the skin, some spots will surface. There's no particular medicine for it as it's something to do with the child's antibody and immune system. He/she must take a lot of fluid and vitamins to help clear the ulcer, and in some cases to bring the fever down. So pls monitor your child when he/she has mouth ulcer. He/she may not get it from another child but an adult who's a carrier. As for Faie's and Mohsin's case, we're really unsure from where they got it from. Anyways, as off now, alhamdulillah that they have already recovered.

Weekends nowadays

Weekends have been spent with Mak eversince Abah passed away. We'll make sure we go over to Gombak on both Saturday and Sunday. For the recent weekend, we stayed overnight as my grandma went back to KK oredi. Grandma extended her stay a bit coz my uncle tak sempat nak hantar dia balik. Almost 2 weeks Tok tolong temankan Mak. I'm so thankful for that. Now that Tok dah balik, i begin to worry abt Mak. How is she coping staying there alone? Last night i called her as we reached home, checking on her. This morning i called her again, to make sure she's alright. Mak said she woke up at abt 1.30am but managed to go back to sleep after that. She woke up again at 5am. Saturday night when we're there pun she woke up ard 1.30am coz Faie nak gi toilet. Faie slept with her when we're there. Other kids tak leh nak tido ngan Mak coz depa ni tido lasak sikit, hehe.

At first Mak ajak my cousin temankan dia but my cousin can't as she's having high fever at night. Afraid that she'll be troubling Mak instead of menolong, she declined. It did cross my mind that myself & C temankan Mak kat Gombak, while the kids stay with Bibik kat rumah tapi Mohsin and Milia sure buat perangai if we do that so i tak sampai hati la pulak. It'll be unfair for Bibik to take up the burden to look after the kids on her own as she's not their mom. Also thot nak biarkan Bibik with Mohsin & Milia temankan Mak while me & C stay over at MIL's with Simba and Faie but i didn't get the chance to talk to C abt it :( Entahlah, too many things for me to worry abt these days. My doa all the time is for Allah to ease up my trouble, esp when i'm doing whatever things relating to Abah. Me and Mak's aim is for Mak to stay in Gombak till this coming Thursday at least, untuk cukupkan 40 hari. My grandma told me, "..Mak kalau boleh jangan tinggalkan rumah dalam masa 40 hari tu sebab nanti kalau dah habis 40 hari tu, Mak tak de la takut nak duduk sini walaupun sorang2.." I think i believe what Tok said coz that's what she did when grandpa passed away abt 12 years ago. I'll have to see how it goes with Mak. Hope Mak will be strong to just stay there till this weekend.

Other than that, my marathon of bdays will start this coming Sat with Faie's 5th bday. I haven't even ask her what she wants. If i can read her mind, i know what to get her. Next month will be Simba's. The following will be Mohsin's and C's. Milia's will come in Dec. Dulu masa Abah ada, dia la yang akan ingat bday cucu2 dia :) He'll tease the person who's having the bday. If the kids', depa memang la tak tau bila bday diaorang, hehehe. Abah tak belikan the kids present tapi akan bagi some money dan pesan kat diaorang "..ni bagi Mama simpan kat bank.."

In memoirs of Abah....

It's been 3 weeks since the incident happened.. but I'm still sad and teary whenever i think of Abah. Anyhow, i'm not sure whether i'll feel OK even after 6 months it happened. So i would like to dedicate this entry for him so that i'll be able to read back whenever i miss or think of him.

Abah was the person i used to call for everything under the sun.. be it nak mintak tolong itu ini.. nak tanya pasal Mak.. nak mintak opinion.. to ask whether he'll be working on the weekend we wanna go visit them.. even to borrow money.. He also once in a while will call me to check on his grandkids.. to check on what time i'll reach ofis when Mak asked him to pass me anything.. to check whether we're going anywhere on the day he & Mak wanna come over to visit.. to ask to speak to C to ask for direction eventho he has C's number.. to let me know that he's at Masjid Jamek station so that i'll stop by to see him on my way back from work.. In other words i was closer to him than Mak. Maybe for the fact that we're both roosters, we have many similarities. But of course i love them both nevertheless..

Thinking back a few weeks before the incident happened, me and Abah talked to each other more frequent than before. Maybe bcoz he's alone at home as Mak was away at Ziela's, looking after her during confinement. I went to meet up with him at Masjid Jamek station when he did his OT there one evening. We talked abt our trip to AOR, eventho we're not travelling together. Abah had to go to AOR earlier from Tue night, 30th May, to Fri, 2nd June as his leave was oredi approved. My plan was to meet up with him there as i applied for leave for Thu & Fri, 1st & 2nd June but my boss asked me to take Fri and Mon instead. As we're on our way up north, he was oredi on the bus on his way back to KL.. so we missed each other along the highway. I was quite surprised when he told me he's not going to drive up as he normally did. But, he said it's not economical to drive up as he's alone, and he's not going to bring Mak back to KL yet. Eventho we missed being with him in AOR, we got to spend some time with him when he came over to KJ on Tue. He helped replace the tap for our kitchen sink. He had dinner with me & C and stayed over till abt 10.30pm. Normally he'll go back ard 9.30pm and gave excuses like "esok Abah kerja pagi.... masuk 5.45am" or something like that. We of course like it very much when he stayed longer coz the kids just love it when their grandpa is around.

Abah came again on Wed after i told him that i was at home. Mak called earlier to check whether i'm at home or not. I was home as i was on MC bcoz my little finger was trapped at the car door when i closed the door as soon as i reached ofis. That Wed morning i was oredi late for my 9am meeting. C dropped me near the canteen bcoz i told him that i need to buy breakfast before i go up to the ofis. As i was closing the car door quite gently, i accidentally trapped that little finger on my right hand :( Ouuccchhhhhh.. i was speechless for closed to 1 minute as it's so painful!! One of the security guards saw me and asked C to take me to the clinic after he brought some ice for me to dip my finger in it. Well, i only realized that that incident happened for a reason after we lost Abah. If not bcoz i trapped my finger, i'll not get that MC and got to spend time with Abah. He was as cheerful as ever when he reached our house that day. He brought some kuih he bought from Yeop's stall, plus some bread for the cucu2 kesayangan. Jarang sangat yang Abah datang rumah we all dengan tangan kosong.. mesti dia bawak all kinds of bread or whatsoever for the kids. We had dinner together again. He was so happy when i told him that Mak told me over the phone earlier that she'll come back the coming Tue as she purposely wants Abah to fetch her from Jln Duta. He went back quite late that nite, at around 10.30pm again, after my helper helped massage his upper arm after he complaint his arm and shoulder hurts whenever he lift up his hand. Of course at that time i didn't know that it'll be our last meeting with him. My syukur to Allah for the fact my finger trapped that HE allowed me/us to spend that evening with Abah.

On that fateful Sun, 11th June 2006, Abah called that morning at 9.46am to let me know that he wanna come over to spend some time with us if we're not going anywhere. Upon hearing that, i quickly asked him to come eventho i oredi planned to go out to Amcorp Mall with C. But knowing that our trip to Amcorp will be a short one and we'll probably be back before he reach our house, i was very excited thinking abt having him around. At 11am, i asked my helper to get the kids ready for us to go out to Sbg Parade. At the back of my head, i thot that Sunday was the Father's Day. As C's gone out for jungle tracking with his frens since early morning and will not be back till ard 2pm+, while in the cab i told the kids that we're going to buy Papa some presents for Papa's Day. Of course the kids were very excited. Took the kids to Toys R Us and let them play for an hour or so. After that we went in Parkson and picked up a few shirts for C and also football tees for Simba and Mohsin. Mohsin asked me to buy him a ball since he also "demam World Cup". Abang dia kata Brazil, dia pun ikut "Brazil" jugak la. [FYI, both of my boys are World Cup babies of 1998 and 2002.] Frankly, that morning i felt very happy, to which if you asked me "why", i may not be able to answer till today. All i can say is, very unusual that i feel happy over no solid reason[s]. Tapi, bak kata orang tua2, bila suka sangat tu mungkin nak menangis la lepas tu. That could have been the case.

We left Sbg Parade at around 2pm after we bought lunch from McD. I told the kids that we need to get home early bcoz their Atok will come over after he finished working. When we reached home, we ate happily together, while me waiting for C to come home before i go out with him. At almost 3pm, C called to ask me to get ready. The kids wanted to follow me but i told them to stay home as their Atok may be arriving any time. I was thinking of calling Abah to let him know that i need to go out. But, the thot of he may lose concentration riding his motorbike stopped me from calling. At Amcorp, we're at the Flea Market where C met up with Che Mat and i had a chat with Che Mat's wife. Leka la bersembang sakan with them. I kept on reminding C that we need to get home fast coz Abah could be waiting for us oredi. C said OK but he wanted to get lunch first. I told him to go up to Kenny Rogers to order food first while i go to Giant to get some sugar. Before i get to the sugar section, i was so busy membelek some peanuts which C likes. Suddenly my phone rang and the caller asked me whether i know anybody by the name of *such and such*. When i told him that the *such and such* is my dad, the caller quickly asked me to go to University Hospital [UMMC] saying that my dad was involved in an accident. Mmg tersirap darah masa tu. I quickly put back all the peanuts i took and called C to let him know that we need to run to the hospital. Tears had oredi rolling down my cheeks as never in my life i received such calls. I met Che Mat's wife on my way to meet C and told her briefly.

As we're approaching UMMC, i called Ziela to ask what were she and Mak doing. When Ziela told me that she's having tea and Mak could probably be sleeping upstairs, i quickly put down the phone. C dropped me near the Emergency. I was actually searching high & low on where to go and who to ask before i was directed to wait in "Bilik 2" for the Dr to explain his situation. Sementara tunggu Dr datang, hati tu memang berdebar-debar, macam nak tercabut jantung. When the Dr finally came and told me that "I'm sorry Cik but you lost your dad", i was actually screaming as i didn't believe what i just heard. The Dr told me that he did try his best to help save Abah but he was not able to as he believed Abah suffered internal injuries. Dr asked me to identify the person brought to the UMMC whether he's really Abah or not. When i saw him lying on the bed, i wiped my tears and kissed him for the last time. That was definitely Abah and i had to accept the fact that he's gone forever eventho before that i still have hopes that the police could have picked up a wrong person. Definitely at that time i can't do anything but cry. I can't claim his body then and there as there are so many other things need to be cleared first. [FYI, the police classified his case as "hit and run" from the calls they received from the passers by. But, as for me and family, we just want the police to close the case eventho that will means we'll never get to know what actually happened. Maybe whatever happened then is only known by Abah and Allah.. wallahualam]

C came not long after that and consoled me. When the hospital personnel asked me to claimed Abah's belongings, such as wallet and keys, i called Mak to let her know. Called Ziela's mobile and requested to speak to Mak. My exact words to her was "Mak.. sabar ya Mak.." and Mak answered "kenapa ni.. kenapa" so i told her "..Abah dah meninggal.." Mak's istighfar at that time was like a knife cutting thru my heart. In between tears, i told her whatever info that i gathered from the hospital people. Mak asked me to call my grandma and notify her so that grandma can tell the rest of orang kampung. From that moment onwards, my mobile continued to ring non-stop. Me & C were directed to do a police report right away at the police booth inside that UMMC. While C dealt with the police, i kept on answering phone calls. One of the policemen told me that at the time they found Abah, Abah was still alive eventho he was in so much pain. Abah kept on uttering the word Allah and the policeman continued repeating shahadah to Abah's ears. Bila dengar macam tu, memang hati rasa tenang sikit coz Abah mungkin pergi dengan aman. Honestly, rasa sedih tetap ada tapi i redha.

As of now, i don't think i can continue with the rest of this story anymore. But i may do it later.. some other time. Anyhow, till today, me, Mak and Ziela have some regrets over what happened but we keep on telling ourselves that it was all arranged and written at Luh Mahfuz. Thank you to all frens and relatives who have been so supportive from the time it happened till today. Thanx a million too for all the condolence messages and doa sedekah Fatihah and Yassin for Abah. Hopefully Abah will be placed among the solihin. Amin..